Alone

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We die alone.

We are born alone.

Bonds are made with others. Yet, the bonds don't change the fact that a person is intrinsically alone.

When you breathe, you breathe by yourself.

Whatever conscious action you make, it's your muscles alone that move.

But nothing highlights this state more than being ignored.

Willfully, accidentally, or incidentally; the cause matters not. To be ignored is like shouting for help while floating out in the open ocean. As nobody hears, the shout creates nothing outside of fatigue.

Some wonder why I collect model kits and action figures.

When I talk to my collection, I know why they don't reply. It's because they can't.

And when I'm ignored, I tear at myself, asking why I even bothered to reach out. Experience has relentlessly shown that I am only granted attention when they've need of me. Outside of their need, I am nothing to them until I am needed again.

Do I bother with the pointlessness of it?

I was born alone.

I will die alone.

Yet, because I am alone, the need to create meaning for myself despite the loneliness gnaws at me more.

As I am alone, so shall I forge onward.

I only have myself, so I will cherish what I have more.

I only have this life, so I will hold on to it more selfishly.

I know what it feels to be ignored, so I will reach back with kindness whenever somebody asks of me.

And knowing that I am only of worth to others when they've need of what I can do, I will grant what I can because I know the pain of rejection.

I will be strong, for myself, because I am alone.