Vow

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 There are some things that just get under my skin. Yes, I'm using the phrase in a negative manner.

 One of them, the one that just sticks, is the aggravating unprofessional actions against me. That I've had the bad luck to have had such co-workers and superiors galls me to no end. It's a given that genetics makes everybody different, that a person will have a different gift from another. What's so hard to accept about that? I'm physically unattractive, so I was lucky enough to get some brains. Look at it again, children of Envy, I wrote "SOME". It means that I'm lacking in certain aspects, things that you won't notice because the only thing that held your attention is that I have something you don't and I must be punished for that. It matters little if your acts were born out of the pathetic resemblance you have of humanity. What matters is the result, and it resulted in my means to achieve my goals being broken. Those means were hard-won. Regaining them, if at all possible, will require the same effort, the same circumstances and the same amount of blood and tears. Were it possible, I would destroy you and yours for payment. Were it possible, I would send you to Hell, cursing your thrice-damned self for harming me without just cause.

 "Strength without hatred" is an ideal. It is an ideal that supports Justice, for Justice laced with Hatred emits a noxious aura, coating the gained Justice with the most nauseating aroma. That such strength can become real, makes it an ideal worth aiming for. At this point of my life, reaching that ideal isn't possible. There's too much of me that was broken and tossed aside as trash by apathetic hominids intent only in causing pain. I was powerless to fend off such harm, yet I had what was needed to survive such malice. Was I lucky to have such? Yes. Yet, the question comes forth. If I had what I needed to survive, why are my tools for righteous vengeance denied me? After reflection, that they are held out of my reach is reasonable, else true vengeance would be a farce because the tools of righteous punishment must be earned.

 The question comes forth: What makes me, with my hunger for vengeance, different from those that have harmed me? Perhaps the fact that I was minding my own dreams when I was ambushed by their malice? Perhaps the fact that I was the one they victimized? Perhaps the fact that I did nothing against them and theirs, that I said nothing against them and theirs, yet I received unjustified harm from them? Perhaps the fact that were it not for their malice, my goals would have been several steps closer to fruition.

 To answer the question, of what makes me different from them, I was the one attacked and my response, my vengeance, to their aggression will depend on the circumstances presented to me.

 I will earn the means for my vengeance, even if that is only to look down upon them from the lofty post I will reach. Will I still yearn to ground them into dust? Perhaps I will, if only to prevent them from acting maliciously and from spawning more of their twisted ilk.

 This I swear: "Vengeance without mercy!"

1 comment:

geir daniel tan said...

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet the Force.