Resolve

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Time moves so slowly, as if I'm swimming through a colloid solution while wearing 5 kilo ankle & wrist weights on my arms & legs. There's the periodic adrenaline rush brought by panic, anxiety & trepidation borne from the realization that my current situation is strictly sink or swim, win or lose, do or die. That I've estranged myself from my immediate family's resources means that the effects of Murphy's Law will be more quickly & forcefully felt, making each mistake the probable last since I've decided to commit seppuku should I fail. I could always ditch my stint in the Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation department that I'm attached to so I'd have more time to rest, but I chose this particular path because it would let me earn a living AND practice as a licensed Physical Therapist so I can NOT divorce myself from that Rehab department I'm serving.

I've made contingency plans to cover my a$$ but I've need of a steady source of pecuniary resources to make those plans feasible. I've entertained the thought of buying an electronic leisure material (either a PC or a PSP), but I'll decide AFTER I get regularized since the money would be VERY tight until then. The more immediate desire to be fulfilled that I've set my sights on is a phone/MP3 player that I've yet to buy. I've canvassed the stores prior to the start of my job at this call center, but I haven't seen the model I wish to acquire.

I'll see this through.

I'll win.