Working for AT&T, Infirmity, Iron Will and Niten

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Overall, working for AT&T is rewarding for the following reasons: a. The pay is great. b. I get to meet interesting people. c. I get to meet hominids who test my patience, temper and general good-nature, thus giving me the necessary stimuli for personal growth. d. I learn something new almost everyday. Of course, work being what it is, there are times that the boredom makes me want to sleep. There is also the standard friction with people who're supposed to know how to manage people who only end up mismanaging me [smirks in irritation], but I'm learning how to deal with those imbeciles. No, I won't name them here or anywhere to avoid libel suits and trouble. Suffice to say that said entities exist and are tolerated because I can't neutralize them. The fact that I have superiors who know how to properly handle me makes work bearable and almost always enjoyable.

 ~~=~~

 Yes, working for AT&T requires extensive use of my Central Nervous System, both upper extremities and my upper respiratory tract (particularly my pharnyx/throat). My brain (which houses my mind) is up to the tasks of troubleshooting and it's being upgraded regularly with new information and subroutines (i.e. semi-automated thought processes to speed up the analysis of mundane problems). The components of my upper extremities are relatively up to the task, though my left upper extremity could use an upgrade in its dexterity [shrugs]. Goes to show that I've good need for further exercise of my left hand and forearm muscles. What thoroughly galls me is the relative weakness of my throat. It gives out after two days of use in the service of the paycheque that I earn from AT&T. Sure, I'm used to speaking and all that and this really shouldn't be a hindrance in performing my responsibilities at work. However, undue strain to my speech organs will ultimately degrade my speech capabilities. I'm going to find a way to improve the endurance of my speech organs. My livelihood depends on it.

 ~~=~~

Hokay, I'm encountering obstacles to my goals and some are caused by pecuniary limitations while some are brought by physical infirmity. There really isn't much to do for or against those obstacles except to climb over, circle around or (whenever possible) simply obliterate it. As of the moment, obliteration isn't feasible and ignoring the obstacles caused by my body will only cause more problems in the long run. I've chosen this path because this open up doors that I want open. This path burns the bridges connected to the House I was raised in. This path is the one -I- chose, not the path chosen for me. The fact that I chose this course of action makes it singular. Here and now, my actions alone determine what will or will not happen, [tilts head to the right in contemplation] for the most part anyway. There are the independent and dependent variables that are out of my purview but that's part of the game [smirks in amusement]. I've always been stubborn and I've displayed this trait in positive and negative ways. I'll bring my stubbornness front and center whenever these obstacles pop up so I won't fail because of inaction. I bring out Freedom and Destiny and wield them without mercy. The Samurai won't hold back and I'll be pushing the construction of its parts and components whenever possible. I'll forgo some of my needs until I've the needed resources, physical and monetary. Til then, those activities will have to be reduced or set aside for later dates.

Unwanted iteration of sickness

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I'm 27 years of age and that means a lot of things. The thing that annoys me the most about being at this stage of life, at being grown up, is that being sick means lost opportunities and lost resources.

Back when I was a teen, getting sick didn't mean much unless I was sick during examinations. There was one time that I had to stop taking an exam back in second year high-school because I've overloaded my brain and body by absorbing the basic information about the animal kingdom's classification system (phylum, division, etcetera, right down to the genus and specie and the representatives of each class/group) all in one night. The overload caused the room to spin and a lot of other things. The consequence was that I was sent to the clinic. I don't recall what I had to do to complete the exam, so I think it wasn't such a significant event.

Nowadays, whenever I get sick, I have to skip work if the condition is something that will worsen if I push myself. Of course, the absence is only because I have to get well or else I'll incur more absences because of the worsened condition I would have earned because of my innate stubbornness. Add the fact that I also have to spend for my medical certificate to the fact that my pay is reduced because of my absence and I'm pretty greatly aggravated by the pecuniary loss AND the black marks on my attendance.

Did I want to get sick? Heck, no! No work equals no pay and no pay means I'm going to have lesser or no resources to expend. Of course, the fact that my body heals relatively faster than most means my absences because of sickness are shorter when they occur. Add the fact that I'm in the medical field and that means I sometimes have access to free or discounted medicine.

[shrugs] Well, what is, is. That's the Sixth Rule for you.

~~~

No good news, over all. But there are no bad news either. I've the run-of-the-mill occurrences of Murphy's Law and I'm grateful that I'm weathering those incidents with considerable panache. That I've to deal with judgment borne of ignorance is something that infuriates me. That I'm most likely going to endure this unnecessary aggravation from quasi-sapient Neanderthals is something that I'll rail against, even if Murphy's Law states that I won't be able to totally shield myself from such pointless skirmishes with those cretins. That I can only break away from the idiocy spawned by those illogical morons by the slow steady rise of my career annoys me to no end.

I swear, the moment I can safely neutralize those annoying pointless obstacles, I will do so.

My body dances to the song of my soul

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 Yes, there is fear.

 [raises right eyebrow in thought] As it is, I welcome the fear.

Why? Because the fear brings that adrenaline rush that is only brought about by having my life threatened with extinction. I know it's a tad stupid to keep on asking for situations that would bring about life-threatening scenarios, but I've nothing else that can bring about that heart-pounding exhilaration inherent in bringing to fore all that I am in a battle eloquently summarized by "Win or Die". True, I've yet to engage myself in actual combat where everything is at stake and the perfect harmonious integration of my mind and body at their respective peaks is the only key to success. True, tis sad that the only closest thing to that which I yearn for is something that only happens if I happen to be unreasonably stupid or Murphy's Law has decided to pay a most unusual amount of attention on me. Yes, I'm a polymath dual-spatha-wielding dancing physical therapist with dreams, hopes and goals that some would laugh at, cringe away from or just plain gape at. That means I would like to excel in treating patients in the field of physical therapy, in wielding two bladed weapons in a dance of death that most would think as pointless (if not downright inane) and in maximizing my mastery of the skills that I find relevant. Being who I am means that I've needs and wants that only my close friends would be able to accept and comprehend. Being who I am means that I'm just dissatisfied if things are boring or downright stupid. As a segue, you [points towards the subject of my ire] don't know who you are and you'll most likely die not knowing that you're an incompetent, diety-forsaken, insecure, ameobic, devolved, anthropomorphic slimeball masquerading as one of my immediate superiors. That you're afraid that your incompetence will be exposed makes you act in ways that underscore your abominable inability to capably perform your duties and you do this by making your subordinates feel inferior whenever you swing your title and rank to enforce your perverse perspectives. That you use your rank to stomp down on my perspectives instead of giving me rational data by which I can make my own decisions sickens me. I'd neutralize you if doing so weren't a flagrant waste of my stretched resources. [takes a deep breath] Now, [peruses the previous paragraph and smiles] I've let all that negativity out. I can continue my thoughts. I've found a translation of the haunting, soulful rendition of the song Doll, as sung by Lia. That the song is for the animé Gunslinger Girl Il Teatrino, which is based on Yu Aida's heart-wrenching manga Gunslinger Girl, just makes the song more special. Yes, the series (both the animé and manga) in itself is morose, but I am endeared to the characters that endeavor to live fully in spite of the limitations imposed upon them by circumstances. Angelica's death is tragic yet pivotal because it emphasized the cyborgs' mortality. Triela's and Hilshire's choices about their relationship as fratello bring to mind several of my own experiences. I find the simplicity of Rico's approach to life too ... [pouts in thought] unbalanced but the fact that she didn't have a functional body to begin with makes the rationale behind her decision apt. I love songs. I love dancing. I love being me and there are also times that I mourn over my mistakes. That darkness exists as a contrast to light, that Life is pointless without Death, that there is the past, present and tomorrow in each and every one of us, makes living a responsibility like no other.

Disease and the Peter Principle

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Lemme see ... [ticks off fingers] I was absent twice because of diarrhea caused by normal food and I've had to absent my fat ass today because of preventive maintenance (if my allergic rhinitis worsens, it becomes a cough. If the cough worsens, it becomes an asthma attack).

To my credit, I went to work the day before while I had the sneezing fits and running nose caused by my allergies. Unfortunately, that little quest ended in a worsening of my allergies, which required that I had to absent myself. What does that mean? It simply means that getting promoted will be a bit harder since promotion requires spotless attendance sheets. [shrugs] I'd rather appear human and vulnerable so as to avoid invoking the Peter Principle. I also had to endure well-meant scolding from my adopted sisters (my twin and older doctor sister), but I guess they scold because they care. At least, they don't lay it on thick [smirks in amusement].